Gossip & News about Paris Hilton

Paris isn’t free — and neither are we: “Paris Hilton’s strange celebrity hits a new nadir after Friday’s chaotic perp walk. Will we ever be free from her now?

June 9, 2007 | Resistance is futile. You can avert your eyes, cover your ears, change the channel and close your browser, but you can’t escape the truth: Paris Hilton has become an omnipresent cultural icon, a symbol of the depravity of our times, and thanks to Friday’s sobbing, O.J.-level arrest spectacle, she’s destined to remain at the forefront of that rushing flow of global news until we’re all old and gray.

Earlier this week, though, there was a glimmer of hope: As Hilton began her 23-day stint in a Los Angeles jail (a sentence that had already been reduced by half), a nation joined hands and solemnly prayed that prison might be the one thing that could convince Hilton to put away the party dresses, close the cellphone, retire the baby-doll voice, put down the apple martini and go home. Together, we dared to dream that the dark realities of life in the big house would teach Hilton, once and for all, not only that drinking while driving isn’t just bad publicity, it’s a crime that endangers innocent people, but that we’re tired of her face, and we want her to finally have the good taste to do what so many criminals and porn stars and flashers have done before, once they’ve had their comeuppance: disappear. Surely, Paris Hilton had the money and the resources and the good sense, at long sweet last, to finally make herself scarce!

So when the news came out on Thursday that Hilton was released from jail and sent home with a house-arrest ankle bracelet, after just three days, due to an unspecified “medical condition” that many have speculated is her deteriorating emotional and mental state, a great cry of protest rose up from the land. Why?! When our prisons are filled with men and women serving time for their crimes, why should one pretty young heiress walk free?

A member of the prison’s medical team told the New York Post that Paris was let go because she was on the verge of losing it: “She was crying a lot … She’s in lockdown for 23 hours. She was depressed.” Ah, yes. As opposed to the rest of those in our nation’s prisons.

From that point on, even the least interested among us, who had averted our eyes and begged the universe to spare us the latest details of Paris’ incarceration, couldn’t help perusing the gory details: OK! magazine reported that Paris, upon release yesterday, began planning a major house party for last night. A friend of Hilton’s (who told OK! about the party) allegedly said, “Paris has had an awful five days in prison … She wants to see her friends and have fun. She’s been punished enough already.”

A fellow inmate reported that Paris cried continuously in prison, and was repeatedly pressing her “medical alert” button, summoning guards. The inmate also claimed that Paris was eating officer-level food, not regular mess. Paris’ parents reportedly planned to visit her in the slammer this weekend, but her aunt Francesca Hilton told Us Weekly that “now, we will have to have a party” instead.

(Read Original Article - Via Salon.)

We’ll always hate Paris: “The public outrage over Paris Hilton’s early release from her L.A. prison cell may be justified — but why are we expending so much energy protesting the antics of a spoiled media whore?

Paris has been one of our most arresting national disasters. She’s too rich, skinny, blond, nude, slutty, drunk, spoiled and famous. She ignores the law and openly flouts our social mores, as if they don’t apply to her.

Proximity to Ms. Hilton is a proven health hazard: She blows all the clothing, morals, inhibitions and self-control of her victims sideways, leaving them emaciated, dehydrated, broke, disoriented and immune to even the most powerful panty-biotics.

Paris has managed to hold herself together comparatively well during severe marathons of hard partying — at least compared with the rest of her friends.

While Paris tiptoed around looking vacuous but relatively docile, La Lohan, Britney Spears, Brandon “Greasy Bear” Davis, Nicole Richie et al. sunk into binge-puking, Mercedes-totaling, infantile oblivions, involving willful and sustained refusal of all food but Vicodin, stints in inpatient rehabilitation facilities that cost $45,000 a week, and unsightly public meltdowns, leading to the consumption of more big bowls of cocaine and opiate painkillers and more trips to rehab (rehab being the new day care for shrieking Hollywood narcissists who can afford never to develop their own maturity, self-control or respect for other human beings).

While Paris is constantly derided for being stupid and whorish, she is, in fact, a post-Warholian pop genius of media manipulation: an extraordinarily talented infamy artist. In an information-saturated age, no publicity is good publicity, but there is enormous money to be made in disgrace. Fame is made of quantity of attention, not quality. More attention (positive or negative) means … you win, even if you’re incarcerated.

Today’s outrage centers on La Hilton’s release from prison, for the “medical condition” of galloping emotional feebleness brought on by advanced, drug-resistant wealth. The release was a tragic P.R. decision. As of the posting of this article, the ball, ridiculously, is still in the air. The sheriff’s office is being held in contempt, and our general contempt for Paris is being held in check until some responsible grown-up is able to resolve this absurd morality farce.

(Read Original Article - Via Salon.)

TheSpoof.com : Paris Hilton Feels Humiliated funny satire story: “CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Los Angeles - Paris Hilton, after kicking, screaming, and whining all the way to jail said that she was extremely humiliated and that people should be paying attention to important things like the War in Iraq and the men and women who are serving there. The reporter wondered if she actually had a brain, or if she just suffered a moment of clarity.

Paris Hilton said that the most humiliating experience about the ordeal was that people found out she’s having to drive a ’stupid old Mercedes’ since her boyfriend wrecked her Bentley.

‘Maybe if I had wrecked the Mercedes, daddy would have given me a new Bentley and I wouldn’t have been embarrassed by having to drive such an ordinary car,’ said Ms. Hilton.’

A lawyers tried to keep her out of jail on grounds that she was suffering severe mental trauma from the experience.

‘It’s rough when you have to go from driving a Bentley to an ordinary Mercedes,’ said one of her Corrupt Bastards Club lawyers. ‘You just don’t understand how huMILiating it is to have to step down in class of automobiles like that. It’s a dreadful thing, and she should have to go to jail when she’s suffering such severe emotional trauma over the experience.’

Sheriff Lee Baca indicated she was just a spoiled psycho rich kid and ought to have her stay in jail extended. He indicated that she arrived at her original jail with a condition he hadn’t been apprised of and that it immediately began to deteriorate to the point that he feared for her safety.

‘I can kind of understand how hard it must be to have to take such a bit step down in class of cars,’ said Baca. ‘I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have a badge and had to drive a regular slow car, so it must be at least twice as bad for her. Of course, the thousand dollars that she slipped me has a little to do with my opinion.’

Paris is expected to have round-the-clock psychological care for this extreme condition. Her psychiatrists aren’t sure that she will ever get over the humiliation of driving a Mercedes.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

“

(Read Original Article - Via TheSpoof.com .)

WildStarz: Paris Out of Prison Already … WTF???: ”
It has been confirmed that Paris Hilton has been released from the Los Angeles jail to serve the remainder of her sentence confined to her home. Steve Whitmore of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s office said Hilton had been ‘reassigned’ but he declined to identify her medical condition for privacy reasons. [Herpes?]

‘My understanding is that she’s confined to her home with a monitoring device, she cannot leave that facility,’ said Whitmore. ‘She will fulfil the remainder of her time confined to her home.’ That means Paris will have a new cute ankle bracelet to show off for 40 days. What a wimp.

UPDATE:
Law enforcement sources tell TMZ Paris Hilton’s medical condition was purely psychological and that she was in peril of having a nervous breakdown, and that’s why she was released early this morning. Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We’re told after Sophy’s visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton’s mental state was fragile and she was at risk. If your wondering who Dr. Sophy is…well Dr. Charles Sophy is a Beverly Hills psychiatrist that had a role in the Michael Jackson molestation case in 2003. Hmmmm…”

(Read Original Article - Via .)

mediabistro.com: FishbowlLA: “Paris Hilton Gets Low Scores for Trust, Aspiration, but Appeal Rating Climbing

Paris Hilton turns out to be more appealing than we thought. According to Davie Brown Entertainment, a Los Angeles-based marketing agency, her recent sentence hasn’t hurt her too much:

Since last February, her appeal, influence, notice, and position as a trendsetter and endorser actually improved, albeit only slightly, among consumers

Head of DBI Talent, Jeff Chown, (and yes, that’s the correct spelling), said, in an understatement, that her aspiration level dipped after the whole jail thing:”

(Read Original Article - Via mediabistro.com: FishbowlLA .)

Paris Runs For Cover in Prison - TMZ.com: “With Egyptian cotton sheets not provided in Cell Block H, TMZ has learned that Paris will at least be able to curl up in the fetal position nestled under the warm confines of a velour pink polka dot blanket by My Blankee. Prison ponchos are so last year!

My Blankee has sent a half dozen of the plush 30′ x 35′ hypoallergenic blankets to the fashionista felon in hopes of making her stay at the Prison Hilton a little more tolerable. Or she can tie them together and try to escape! “

(Read Original Article - Via TMZ.com.)

The World Claps Its Hands as Paris Hilton Gets Cage Sentence at That Other Blog - The Latest Gossip, Box Office and Entertainment News: “Karma is such a bitch. Celebrities tend to think that they rise above the allowed limits of the law simply because they’ve got money and usually get to skip a line or two here or there. What’s worst about this case though is that Paris Hilton is not even a real celebrity - she only gets away with it. She’s an idiotic dumb blonde who believes she’s better than others because of her family name. With that being said, what doesn’t surprise me is that she is getting caged for committing the ‘crime’ she is most known for - being a stupid idiot and allowing herself to be surrounded by stupid idiots.Anybody who can spell the name Einstein and who’s serious about themselves and their so called ‘careers’ would never put such sensitive issues as knowing the status of their license on the hands of the enablers publicists.Elliot Mintz gets laid off and apparently takes the blame for what happened. That is fucking hilarious. She’s a spoiled little girl who has other people run her life for her and all she does is smile and talk like an absolute idiot.

I’m so glad that the law finally caught up with her insolence. It had just gone too far. It’s also good to see that she was made into an example.”

(Read Original Article - Via That Other Blog - The Latest Gossip, Box Office and Entertainment News.)

Paris Hilton To Pen a Prison Diary at That Other Blog - The Latest Gossip, Box Office and Entertainment News: “Big Bird is set to get busy while in jail, writing! — and hopes it will make her millions.According to The Sun, the heiress, 26, plans to sell the blow-by-blow account after she serves her 23-day sentence for driving while banned.

A source said: ‘There will be details of clashes with prisoners and disgusting meals.

‘She thinks this will show she is paying her debt to society.’ Paris must report to Century Regional Detention Facility in Los Angeles by June 5 after dropping an appeal.”

(Read Original Article - Via That Other Blog - The Latest Gossip, Box Office and Entertainment News.)

Chocolate - the urban music magazine : News : Paris Hilton will serve jail time in isolation: “Paris Hilton will serve her 23-day jail sentence separate from the less posh inmates, the Los Angeles Sherriff’s Department has confirmed.

The hotel heiress initially received a 45-day jail term for violating her probation by driving with a suspended license earlier this month, but this sentence was later halved.

Hilton will serve her term in a ’special needs housing unit’ that’s reserved for high-profile prisoners, like celebrities, police officers and public officials.

Sheriff’s Department spokesman Steve Whitmore has warned pictures agencies against trying to enter the prison to take unauthorised photos of Paris.
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(Read Original Article - Via Chocolate .)

Nightline, 05.04.07: “The reality star gets a dose of reality.”

(Read Original Article - Via ABC News Nightline.)